Roughin' It

For the past three years, we have joined our small group in a Father's Day camping trip. Some families tent it, some stay in the cabin and some bring their toyhaulers. We have been among the families that have relied on the comforts of a toy hauler - running water, toilets and heat being some of the comforts we enjoyed while "roughin' it". But, this year, we all decided to tent it - no running water, air mattress for bed and outhouse type potties being some of the true elements of "roughin' it".

But, there was lots of fun had in the process. First and foremost are the friendships between all the families. I love that AC has a group of people that surround her with love and support. The children all yelled and encouraged one another to finish the rock climbing part of the hike, make it across the river rocks and jump off various cliffs. While, Matthew and I enjoy the laughter, love and advice of the parents.

Here are some of the highlights:

The whole gang. Such a great group of kiddos!

An attempt to build a pyramid with all of the kids. The dads actually added to the chaos.

Matthew, Kyle and I crossing the river. The water was freezing!

Matthew, Kyle and I climbing out of the gorge. Not really sure where MY child was.

AC and Abby preparing to slide the natural rock slide.

Matthew's dive off the cliff.

Silly picture time!

I'm a little surprised he picked me up after 2 days of no showers.

I don't want to brag, but Abby posed the best of all the dogs...and AC's not too shabby herself.

For Fun, Add Mud

On June 10th, we received the unfortunate news that Abby's bone marrow isn't producing red blood cells, white blood cells or platelets. Basically, it's producing plasma and our time with her is very limited. Needless to say, this news was heartbreaking for me and AC. AC always refers to Abby as her sister and as for me, well, Abby is my constant companion and her sweet face looking up at me has lifted my spirits on numerous occasions.

Luckily, we are blessed with sweet friends that understood the impact this news would have on us, and when I mentioned Mud Mania Madness to them, they were immediately on board. The event is sponsored by the city of Scottsdale and is basically a huge obstacle course for children with the main purpose being to get as covered with mud as one possibly can.

That's AC in the middle, she's completely submerged.

Looking like a bronze statue.

I think the smile says it all.

Kyle is super funny.

I had my fingers crossed that the slip-n-slide would remove some mud

And I have to add that I love that little AC didn't think twice about jumping into a 3 foot deep mud puddle. I hope she always embraces life with such vigor.

Happy Birthday to You!

Anna Cate is eight! She is eight-years-old. All of the chubbiness of babyhood is gone, she is long and lean and athletic. She has survived a year of school, learned a few interesting words and even tells the same, "I chinese, I play joke, I put tee-tee in your coke" joke that I remember from my childhood. She has opinions and interests and feelings that are way beyond those of just a year ago. And she wanted to host a party at BouncU this year. One where she could invite all her special friends. So, that is what we did.

Luckily, her birthday fell on a Saturday this year and began with a big helping of homemade "dirt" cake. She always gets to choose what she wants for breakfast on her birthday, but this is the first year she actually took advantage of the concept of "anything".

Then off to the party we went. All of the most important friends were there. First and foremost, Molly was able to come. Those two girls share a very special little bond and have for over two years now. The only person she missed from class was Chase, her chosen boy friend of the year (and by that I mean friend that is a boy). And our closest family friends were able to make it too.

They laughed, screamed and ran around like maniacs. They were all dripping with sweat by the time cake and presents rolled around. They screamed while singing, "Happy Birthday to You" and when it was time to blow out the candles, I told AC to make a wish. She looked at me sweetly and said, "I don't have anything else to wish for."

Mother's Day 2011 - In My Daughter's Eyes

My daughter is growing - and quickly. I see it in little things she does or says, things that scream out to me that she is no longer my little baby. I can see the future, I can almost feel the close proximity of the tween and teen years. I know my preeminence as the smartest, kindest, coolest, most beautiful person in her world is coming to an end. There are moments that I find myself wanting to freeze frame, when she comes to me with a smile in her eyes and reaches up to rub noses or says something that melts my heart. But, because I can't actually freeze time, I am attempting to at least record it.

This is me, in my daughter's eyes...

When talking about the male parent that also volunteers in her classroom, "Yeah, the boys talk to him. But, the boys and girls come up and hug you and talk to you. You are the most popular parent, you are also the nicest."

While looking at her chest, "I think they are growing. Do you think they will ever get as big as yours? You are like a model...or a movie star." (Oh, sweet, delusional child)

After spitting out her mouthwash, "Will this mouthwash make my teeth as white as yours? Yours are really white, they shine when you smile."

Sitting together, eating lunch and AC asks how old I am. After hearing the answer, she looks at me and says, "If I didn't know better, I would think you were 25."

I bought a new wind chime to replace the broken one the previous owners had left behind. Matthew noticed it a couple of days later and asked where I bought it. AC said, "You bought that, Mom? It looks like one of the beautiful creations you make."

After telling her how many miles I ran one day she said, "I'm happy for you mom, but I'm also a little sad. You and Dad are going to be ironman champions and I'm just going to be left behind." (For the record, I have NO plans to be ironman anything, except maybe cheerleader.)

And finally, my Mother's Day poem...

I love you, Mom
I love it when we snugle!
When I am sick you always say: "Are you okay?"
Thank you for caring for me
When I grow up I hope we can be nabors.
You are the best mom!

    by: Anna Cate

Investments

My aunt has been fighting cancer for over five years. The past month has been especially hard and I think her battle is definitely nearing the end. Because of this, I took a trip back to Georgia last week to see her for the last time. As she turned to see who had come to visit, she saw me and asked the simple question, "Amy, what are you doing here?".

Such a simple question, but it totally threw me off guard. I couldn't actually give her the truthful answer, so I came up with a reasonable, believable...lie. But, as I was laying in bed that night, it occurred to me that the answer to the question was much more complex. Because I had chosen to fly across country with two days notice, without recommendation from anyone else. What had prompted me to do such a thing? Why was it necessary for me to ensure that I spoke with her at least one more time?

With tears flowing and chest heaving, the answer came to me. Everyone that enters our lives makes an impact - big or small, positive or negative. But, only a few truly invest in us, really entwine themselves into the very fabric of who we are. My aunt is one of those people for me. From my earliest memories, I remember her encouraging me, teaching me and utterly delighting in me. She listened, she laughed and she never once failed to tell me how smart or clever she thought I was. I don't know that I ever went a holiday without receiving a card, pictures or small treat from her and when AC was born, she continued the tradition with her. Even to this last visit, when I sat down in front of her to feed her grapes and she looked at me and said, "Amy, you look pretty, just so very pretty".

So, what was I doing there? I know now that I had to, in some small way, let her know that her investment had not gone to waste. She mattered, the words she had said had made a difference and the love she had shown had taken root and grown within me. I had to say, "I love you" just one more time.

Getting Older

I've started this new Beth Moore study. I've been wanting to do one and when my friend, Tish, invited me to join her group, I immediately accepted. I knew it would be a bit uncomfortable because she is the only one in the group that I know and talking about private, personal issues is difficult for me outside of conversations with close friends. But, I understand that God often wants to get us out of our comfort zones in order to assist our growth and so, I decided it would be a walk of faith.

And, it is uncomfortable. But, not for the reasons I expected. I've become comfortable in my faith. I can talk about God's role in my life and how I have come to see His presence in my present life and throughout past years when I wasn't even acknowledging Him. The issue is that I am older than most of the group members and I'm not struggling with the same problems that they are. I'm over temper tantrums and potty training. I don't (and didn't even when AC was a baby) think wiper warmers are very important and I am passed the point of trying to regulate naps and feeding schedules.

Don't get me wrong, I am not belittling their concerns. The problem is that I am realizing that that time of my life is over. I am no longer the "mom of a young child". It is hitting me in the face that I am getting older and my child is getting older. My identity is once again changing. I'm  not really sure how I feel about the situation (not that I can control it one way or the other), it's just unsettling.

Then, on the other hand, it's not that I'm unhappy with where or who I am. Actually, I don't know that I have ever felt more "me". I don't want to go back to my twenties and I definitely don't want AC to back to the two's or three's. Maybe that is the unsettling part, while I want to be forever young, I'm seeing the positive side of aging. I'm in limbo somewhere between the young and the old.

I love my younger friends. I like hearing their stories about poop and messy houses. But, I find comfort in others who are getting older like me.  And, I find comfort in those even older because they remind me that I still have so very far to go.

A Girl's World

AC has started her very own blog. If you would like to check it out you can find it at girlsworld-peacelovelife.blogspot.com

She would love to hear your comments!

What I Can Do

See this little guy? His name is Froggy and AC has had him since she was two years old. She quit requiring his presence at bedtime maybe two years ago, but called down to me last night around 10 PM to ask if I could find him. She really thought he would help her go to sleep. As I dug through toy boxes and storage containers that are kept in the garage, I asked myself why in the world I was going to this much trouble to find a stuffed animal. But in the same second that I asked myself this question, I knew the answer.

I can't control the fact that her teacher is at a conference and the class is in total chaos under the supervision of the substitute. I can't control that she is in tears when she gets in the car because all this added activity overwhelms her. I can't control that she sometimes faints and loses consciousness for no apparent reason. I can't control that a classmate coughs on her and passes her all those lovely strep throat germs. I can't control that her friend at school likes to brag when her team wins the relay or that she has to run slower than she is capable in Running Club because she has to stay with the group. On a day-to-day basis all the minor irritations and hurts are completely out of my control.

But, I can control whether or not she has her "Froggy" in bed with her at night. That is what I can do.

Valentine's Day...Some hate it, some love it and some grow to realize that everyday is a day worthy of showing the people you love how much you truly cherish them. I like to think I fall into the third category, but if I am truly honest with myself, I have to admit that a special surprise on this day really does make me feel loved. So, the little diamond filled white gold ring that Matthew surprised me with over the weekend really touched my heart and I smile every time I look down at it. He also surprised AC with her first Pandora bracelet. She kisses it before going to sleep at night. But, do not be concerned that he is not receiving his own special valentine because as I type a new top-of-the line triathlon bicycle is on its way to our home. 

But, Valentine's Day is not just about receiving, it is also about giving. This past week, AC and I have been working on the gifts she will bestow. Somehow, she managed to walk out the door without me taking a single photo of the 25 cute bags we made for her classmates, the 36 cranberry orange muffins we baked or even the photo frame she made for her teacher. But, for the record, the bags were stuffed with teddy grahams and tied with pink and red ribbon and little notes that read, "I can't 'bear' being without you", "To: A 'paw'-sitively  great friend" and "To: A 'Beary' Good Friend".

Lastly, I was able to squeeze in a few fun crafts to add around the house for the occasion. I'm only adding them because when AC saw the first one, she exclaimed, "Oh, Mom, that is sooo cute. I just love it!" and then commenced to sticking her finger in it to see what it was made of. (It's colored epsom salt.) And when Matthew saw the second one, he commented, "I see things like that and I just appreciate who you are. I mean I don't know anyone else who thinks to do that." Really, with comments like that, I don't need diamonds to feel special.

These are really just my adaptation of the wooden
blocks that are all over the blogosphere right now. ;)

A Matter of Perspective

"Mom! Guess what?! We voted to see who from our class would get to go to the Student Council meetings and I got TWO VOTES!"

Those were the first words that came out of Anna Cate's mouth when she entered the car last Friday after school. She then went on to tell me that every member of the class was nominated and each student could vote for one person. The students could not vote for themselves. Two girls received three votes so the class then held a run-off to see who would hold the honor of class representative.

After explaining the whole episode to me, she added, "I felt like I was going to cry." Okay, this seemed a little more like what I was expecting, or maybe I should say, what I would have felt like doing. But not wanting to assume I knew what she was feeling I asked her why she felt like crying. She answered, "Because two people really believed in me; TWO people really thought I was responsible enough to go to all the meetings for them; It really meant a lot to me."

Once again, my daughter taught me an entirely new perspective. It wasn't the winning that mattered, but that someone saw her strengths and trusted her. I'm going to have to remember this one.

 

I'm including this other picture to remember her goofy self. I wanted so badly to pull her hair out of her face and return the bow to it's place, but then I decided that there will plenty of time for her to worry about looking perfect - for now I'm glad she is comfortable being just AC.

snow play at OneTrueMedia.com

Katie has published several videos using this site, so I was just playing around with it. Here are some videos from Flag.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One Reason to Love AZ

We were there to meet him at the finish line

Do you see this picture? It was taken on January 17 at 10:30 AM. We are all totally comfortable, in fact, AC and I soon shed our pullovers. Sunny days in January are definitely one of the things I love most about living in the valley.

And, I would like to add, that Matthew finished his half marathon in 1:35:36. He came in 548th out of 19,000 plus. I'm a little math handicapped, but he told me that meant he finished in the top 3%. I am one lucky lady!

Friends and teammates from Mission

A Time to Play

Christmas did not go as I had planned. AC woke up the Saturday before Christmas with a fever of 102 which hung on until Christmas Eve and was accompanied by an ear infection early Thursday morning. All my plans for having friends over to bake Christmas cookies and to create crafts slowly crumbled before my eyes. But, more importantly, we didn't get to play. Anna Cate's big belly laugh was missing and the house seemed a little sad because of it.

On Christmas day, we flew to GA. As we landed, we saw snow flakes filling the sky and covering the ground and were so excited to have a "white Christmas". Unfortunately, a white Christmas also meant more time inside. AC was still on antibiotics, our schedule was packed and we really didn't have warm clothing. Again, it seemed we didn't get to play.

On our arrival back to AZ, Matthew and I decided that our family needed some time to play together - some time with no schedule and no where to be.  We decided that a weekend in Flagstaff would be the perfect solution.

Having fully recovered, AC was so excited. With mittens, ski jackets, rain boots and two-feet of fresh snow awaiting us we were on our way.

Upon arrival, we claimed our bedrooms and AC asked if she could have hers all by herself. (Heck, yeah!) We then explored around the hotel looking for fresh snow that no one had yet walked on. While exploring, Matthew found an abandoned sled and we took turns sledding down a hill in the dark. Fun, fun, FUN!


The next morning AC woke up at 6:30 ready to go. After breakfast and showers, we loaded up our things and went out in search of a hidden hill that our friends had raved about. The hill was a disappointment, but the family time shared during our drive was not. We talked about how when Matthew and I were kids and homes lost power everyone would huddle around little kerosene heaters. Matthew laughed and said, "You wanted to get so close to the heater, but you couldn't because you might catch on fire!" and AC thought that was really funny. We then discussed time before cell phones and AC got a kick out of the idea of beepers and being able to prank call people. We were all three talking and laughing and totally stress-free.

Having seen that the secret hill was really nothing special, we headed to Wing Mountain to sled and play. The mountain has a backdrop of the San Francisco Peaks and is absolutely beautiful. We took turns sledding - AC totally took out a boy that was standing at the bottom of the slope. (I wish I had been recording it, b/c it really looked like footage for an America's Funniest Videos runner-up) We had snowball fights, added on to half-made snowmen, made snow angels and hiked to find a place where no one else had yet made footprints.  Matthew also attempted to snow board on the sled, the resulting fall was another moment that I wish I had caught on video.

In short, it was a day of play, filled with big belly laughs. We had no schedule, we had no other place we had to be. We were able to just be with one another and laugh and enjoy the moment. It was extremely good for my soul.