Well, Not Exactly...

I have found that empathy works wonders with Anna Cate. When she is very upset, I try to listen first and even if I don't understand her side, she feels "heard". Eighty percent of the time, this approach works and I am then able to explain what she might could do differently next time in order to get a different outcome. But, the one factor I sometimes overlook is the fact that she is six and therefore, her logic does not always follow the same line as mine. One such instance occurred this morning.

While getting dressed this morning, I hear a shriek, followed by a "You're a big meanie" and then some soft murmuring. About five minutes later, Anna Cate walks in the bathroom and begins to tell me how her Daddy had been mistreating "Simba", a rather large stuffed lion cub. Okay, time for the empathy to kick in. The conversation went something like this...

"Really? I bet that really made you upset."
"Yeah, and he didn't even feel bad about it."
"Well, do you want to hear what happened when I was a little girl?"
"Yeah."
"When I was little, Pop would take my stuffed animals away and pretend to hit them and I would cry and cry."
"Why did he do that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he thought it was funny...or maybe he just didn't understand how very special they were to me or that I really kind of felt like they were real."

A pause in the conversation. I can tell she is thinking. Now is when I make my big move, my wise observation that will entirely change the way she views this situation.

"Do you know what I think?"
"Yeah...that we both have mean Daddies."

Well, no, not exactly.